The Empathy Struggle

I'm an empath. Some days, it physically hurts to have to deal with the pain, heartache and hurt on this Earth. Some days, I find it absolutely overwhelming to navigate through the feelings and the emotions that come along with being a "feeler." I can rationalize with thoughts like It's not your feelings so you don't have to carry that burden, but the feelings are very strong. It can be very difficult.

Over time, however, I've found that I'm becoming "hardened" to the world. I'm absolutely still an empath — I don't believe that's something that will ever go away — but it seems like I'm becoming a little number as time passes.


You'd think that because being an empath is so difficult that I would consider this a victory.

I do not.

I want to maintain the level of understanding and compassion that comes along with being an empath because I feel that it helps me connect to the world and relate to others in their journey here. As I've begun to notice the "tarnishing" of my empathetic nature, I've started to look at things a little differently in an effort to both strengthen myself and my capacity for understanding.

Lately, when I come across a "bad" person — someone who has a bad vibe, rubs me the wrong way, does things that I don't agree with, or is just generally what people would deem a "menace to society" — I remember that they weren't born that way. I think of it metaphorically. We all, every single last one of us — you, I, your best friend, your worst enemy — we all have a diamond inside of us (a soul, if you will). Over time, these diamonds within us become covered in dirt and grime (tragedy, abuse, emotional pain, poor decisions, failures, etc.) and may even become calcified in an effort to protect ourselves from further hurt. It is because of this dirt, grime, and calcified crust that our diamond — our pure, inherently good nature) becomes less and less visible. But, my friends, it's still there.

...when I come across a "bad" person...I remember that they weren't born that way.

Think about it. Everyone was a baby at the beginning of their life — an innocent, pure child without the capability of evil. We were all in need of nothing but love and sustenance. We didn't seek out material things or have the capacity to purposely hurt others. These behaviors were learned over time and thus began the cycle of "dirtying" our diamond.

The beautiful thing about diamonds though, is that they are forever. You can cover them all you want with dust, dirt, grime, or a thick crust, but underneath, the diamond remains just as beautiful as it was before. All it takes is a little cleaning, a little polishing.

This is not to say, of course, that you have to just deal with negative or toxic traits. Those who would rather continuously cover their diamond in mud and filth can dirty the diamonds of those who are steadily trying to clean their own. If someone is preventing you from polishing your own diamond, then you can set boundaries, distance yourself, or even remove them from your life. That is your right.

BUT you can forgive them.

You can forgive their soul — the pure, infant soul that once was and still is, even if it's buried deep within decades of sludge.