Be Selfish

I'm a giver. I nurture people. It's who I am. It's in my nature.

Over the years, however, I've learned that without a proper give/take balance, being a giver does some really funny things to my psyche.


For example, if I go for months just giving, giving, giving, without ever taking the time to recharge or take time for myself, I hit a breaking point. This often leads me to act irrationally, often giving the outside perception that I'm "unstable."

On the contrary, however. I consider myself to be a very stable person. I am calm, cool, collected, and generally unbothered. If I'm feeling out of sorts, I can easily get my mind state back in order fairly quickly. But then there are some days — after I've given far too much — when I'm running on empty. These days, I am in dire need of stepping away from everything and everyone.

Without that peace, shit goes south real quick.

If you're a giver, you can relate. We often give so much without regard for our own mental health and well-being, but every once in awhile, you have to be selfish. You have to be willing to take. You have to take care of yourself. It is your right to give yourself the care that you need and deserve without giving a fuck what anyone thinks about it.

And boy, did it take a me a long fucking time to come to that realization. But I'm so happy that I'm there.

As a giver, you need to have limits because takers have none.

Yes, you can leave your children in the care of a trusted sitter once in awhile.
Yes, you can forget about other people's needs for a moment.
Yes, you can get away when you feel like you're at a breaking point.
Yes, you can take a one hour shower.
Yes, you can go for a solo drive to the middle of nowhere and turn your phone off.

Do not beat yourself up. You are allowed to be selfish. You do not have to give when you feel that you have nothing left to give.